Hi Mate,
Each week I share one tool for people in frontline and emergency work, and the families alongside them. Practical, direct, and nothing you'd find on a workplace wellness session or poster.
TL;DR (What this email is about)
A difficult colleague can grind you down faster than a run of hard or critical incidents. It's one of the least talked about sources of stress in this work. This week is about that.
This week’s idea
You can handle the hard jobs.
You've trained for them. You've done them. You know how to compartmentalise, move through it, and come out the other side.
What's harder to train for is the person you're doing it alongside.
Most people in our work have had that one person. The colleague who creates tension the moment they walk in. The one who undermines quietly. The one who has a comment for everything and support for nothing. The one who makes the shift walk on eggshells. The one everyone manages around because raising it feels harder than just absorbing it.
And you absorb it. Shift after shift.
Because confronting it feels risky. Because the culture in most services doesn't make it easy to raise interpersonal issues without it becoming political or personal. Because it feels easier to just get through the shift and go home.
So you do. But it costs you something every time.
The slow grind of working alongside someone difficult, week after week, has a measurable impact on mental health, job satisfaction, and how long people stay in roles they otherwise love. It's not always the job that breaks people. Sometimes it's the environment the job sits inside. And that tension doesn't stay at work. It follows you home, affects your sleep, and changes how you feel about going back in.
It's a legitimate source of stress. It just rarely gets named as one.
One tool to try this week
Separate the person from the shift
You can't always change who you work with. But you can stop letting one person's behaviour define the whole shift.
At the end of your next difficult shift, before you drive home, answer these two questions honestly:
"What actually went well today, separate from that person?"
"What would this shift have looked like without them in it?"
You're not minimising what's happening. You're just recalibrating. Reminding yourself that the job itself, the work, your crew, your own performance, exists separately from one person's impact on the environment.
It won't fix the situation. But it stops one difficult person from becoming the whole story of every shift.
If the situation has crossed a line into bullying or is genuinely affecting your ability to work safely, it's worth considering talking to someone you trust first (a senior colleague, a union rep, or your association) before it compounds further.
Why this matters
Interpersonal stress in frontline and emergency service work is chronically under-acknowledged. The focus is almost always on operational incidents. But the slow grind of working alongside someone difficult has a measurable impact on mental health, job satisfaction, and career longevity.
Naming it as a legitimate source of stress, not a personal failing or an overreaction, is the first step to managing it rather than just copping it.
That’s it for this week.
Quick question — what's the culture like in your service when it comes to raising issues with a difficult colleague? Is there a real pathway, or does it mostly just get swallowed?
Hit reply and let me know. I read every response.
Take care out there,
Rick
www.codeonesupport.com
Code One Support
