Hi Mate,
Each week I share one practical tool for people in the first responder and frontline worker world, and the families alongside them. Direct, honest, no bullshit.
TL;DR (What this email is about)
First responders and frontline workers die by suicide at a higher rate than the general population. The signs are often there. This week is about knowing what to look for in yourself and the people around you.
This week’s idea
This one is different from the usual Handover.
September is suicide awareness month. And I'd be doing you a disservice if I let it end without saying something directly.
Here's the reality that doesn't get said enough.
First responders, frontline workers, nurses, corrections officers, paramedics, firefighters, police — we die by suicide at a significantly higher rate than the general population. In some services, more people die by their own hand than on the job. That's not a statistic from a textbook, that's our reality. That's our people. People who did the same work you do, sat in the same messrooms and ward corridors and watch houses, responded to the same kinds of calls.
And most of the time, the people around them didn't see it coming. Or they saw something and didn't know what to do with it.
This isn't about weakness. It's not about who can handle the work and who can't. The research is clear. Repeated exposure to trauma, moral injury, organisational frustration, a culture that doesn't make it easy to say you're not ok — these create a risk profile that most people outside this world don't carry.
You carry it. Your mates carry it. The nurse on the next ward carries it. The corrections officer on the overnight shift carries it.
So here's what to look for.
In yourself:
A persistent feeling that things won't get better. Withdrawing from people you normally want to be around. Losing interest in things that used to matter. Increased alcohol or substance use. Giving things away. Feeling like a burden to the people around you. Thoughts that the people in your life would be better off without you.
If any of that is familiar right now, please keep reading.
In a mate:
Becoming quieter than usual. Dark humour that feels different, heavier, more specific. Giving away gear or personal items. Saying things like "I won't have to worry about that for long" or "you'll be fine without me." Withdrawing from the crew or the team. Seeming settled or calm after a period of visible distress — sometimes that shift signals a decision has been made.
You don't have to be certain. You just have to say something.
One tool to try this week
There is a myth that asking someone directly if they're thinking about suicide will plant the idea. The research is clear — it doesn't. Asking directly opens a door that most people are waiting for someone to open.
If you're worried about a mate, ask them straight.
"I've noticed you haven't seemed yourself lately. Are you thinking about suicide?"
It will feel uncomfortable. It will feel awkward. Say it anyway.
If they say yes, stay with them. Don't leave them alone. Help them contact support. You don't need to have the answers. You just need to stay.
If you're the one reading this and something in that list landed a little too close, please reach out to someone today. Not tomorrow. Today.
Why this matters
We mitigate other people's emergencies every shift. We hold it together for them and their families' too. We are the people other people call when it's the worst moment of their lives.
And sometimes we forget that we're allowed to be the one who needs help.
You are not a burden. The people around you want you here. And there are people who understand this work and what it does to you who are ready to help.
If you or someone you know needs support right now:
Australia
Lifeline: 13 11 14
Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636
Forefront First Responder Support: 1800 000 537
New Zealand
Lifeline NZ: 0800 543 354
United Kingdom
Samaritans: 116 123
Blue Light Together: 0300 123 3393
Canada
Crisis Services Canada: 1 833 456 4566
United States
988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988
International
findahelpline.com
That’s it for this week.
If this landed close to home, hit reply. I read every response and I will personally respond to every one that comes back on this email.
Take care out there,
Rick
www.codeonesupport.com
Code One Support
